Monday, May 4

List of the Week

A lot has happened recently. Or to be more honest, not much has happened but a lot has changed. In any case, I'll be posting details of this bit by bit over the next few days, but to get me started here is the official Monday list. Unfortunately, I can't take credit for this genius creation, but I saw it on an advertisement in an airport cafe many years ago and still think whoever wrote it deserves the Pulitzer prize. Or at least a booty shake.

25 Reasons why Chocolate is Better than a Man
  1. Chocolate is rich, dark, and satisfying.
  2. You're never disappointed when you open the wrapper.
  3. Chocolate doesn't care how many pieces you've eaten before.
  4. Chocolate always hits the spot.
  5. Chocolate doesn't always secretly want to be eaten by your best friend.
  6. Chocolate doesn't think the shopping channel is stupid.
  7. Chocolate always smells good.
  8. Chocolate won't ask "Am I the best?" or "How was it?"
  9. It doesn't sulk when you don't want it first thing in the morning.
  10. Chocolates are easy to pick up.
  11. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
  12. You can suck a piece of chocolate even in front of your mother.
  13. Chocolate never leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
  14. Chocolate doesn't mind what time of the month it is.
  15. You don't mind the brown stains left by chocolate.
  16. With chocolate, size doesn't really matter. It's always good.
  17. You can read the label and know what it's made of.
  18. Chocolates do not wear white socks.
  19. Chocolate doesn't mind when you bite its nuts.
  20. With chocolates, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
  21. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
  22. You can have more than one chocolate a night without ruining your reputation.
  23. Chocolate doesn't just think it's smooth.
  24. Chocolates aren't into rope or leather.
  25. You can tell just by looking at it, that it hasn't been in anyone else's mouth.

Check out the poster here. Forget men, give me a Milky Way.

No comments: