I was going to tell him about a college I got into

me: so guess what
fred: you have a rare but lethal strain of staff flowing througout your body and you wont survive unless i give you a blood transfusion
but its a risky procedure
and it might kill the both of us
me: but you'll do it for ME, right
fred: oh of course
im a bellarmine boy
im a man for others
me: you sit on the couch and play with yourself
dont forget that part
fred: esp the part where im a badass fairy
me: hahahaaha
anyways
GUESS WHAT
fred: oh i wasnt right the first time
shit



No moping can last too long with people like these around.