List of the Week

As stated in previous post, this is an excerpt from the book "11,002 things to be miserable about".

1. Death
2. Life
3. Hitler
4. Erectile dysfunction
5. Blind dates with ugly people
6. Monday mornings
7. Broken condoms
8. Dead puppies
9. Models
10. The orchestra that played as the Titanic went down
11. Michael Jackson's sexual proclivities
12. The Third World
13. Driver's license photos
14. Calculus
15. Butt acne
16. Gas station bathrooms
17. Asparagus
18. Having to hear about other people's babies
19. Memoirs by people who are boring
20. Memoirs by people who are more interesting than you
21. The Hilton sisters
22. Chlamydia
23. Oedipus
24. Men who pose for pictures with their cars
25. Standardized tests
26. The fall of Rome
27. Children decapitated by roller coaster malfunctions
28. Planned phone dates to catch up with friends
29. Fat camp
30. Armed rebels in Nigeria
31. The Vietcong
32. Bad kissers
33. Dogs that lick you after drinking out of the toilet
34. Morning sickness
35. Forgotten children wandering the aisles of grocery stores
36. Cell phone bills
37. Insults prefaced by "No offense, but"
38. Accidentally being touched somewhere inappropriate
39. Being touched somewhere inappropriate on purpose
40. Musicals about the Holocaust

This is definitely not the last time this book will make it onto the blog. The stuff's just too funny to pass up.